Now Trending…The Face Mask

Fashion forecast for 2020? Face masks. I was thinking, shouldn’t we have a more sophisticated name? Face mask is so obvious. What about personal Air flow protection(PAF for short)? Facial protective garment, Designer face shield ,Respiratory safeguard covering, Armor threads, Anti -Germ garb, Microorganism infection protection wear, or Bug barrier, to name a few. We could pay homage to Italy and their battle against Covid-19 by using the Italian translation for face mask, Mascera Viso.

Perhaps, the on trend accessory should have a famous name associated with it like the Hermes Birkin bag, or the Polo shirt established by Ralph Lauren.

“Susie, did you leave your Cruise at home again?”

Maybe it should be called the Fauci after Dr. Anthony Fauchi who has delivered sobering facts about the Corona virus during the daily White House briefings. Trump has a nice pop to it, but buying a Trump would be a tough sell in the blue states, and even the republicans may have heard the word Trump one too many times in the not too distant future. Then it occurred to me, this is a job for Melania! Where is Melaina anyway? The incredibly fashionable first lady seems to have disappeared when we need her abilities most. She could make a real contribution here. She’s missing her big moment to impact the world. I wonder what she would design for her husband. Hmm. I”ll let your imagination run with that thought.

Other options could be a trendy, marketable name like a Spreather, Breeze, or Aerifier replacing the provincial ‘face mask.’

Spreathers could be infused with a fresh minty scent, benefiting you and your friend, (who would obviously be six feet away.) Men’s designs would coordinate with their dress shirt, or Lululemon leisure wear. And of course, women would horde their Fauci’s in their closets beside their coveted designer shoes and handbags.

Some other tertiary issues will need to be addressed concerning our new accessory. For instance, we’re warned to not touch our Fauci, or put it on our chin, so, just like expensive sunglasses, designers will create a case for safekeeping. Apple will need to reprogram their face recognition feature. In my efforts to remain Corona free, the Apple pay feature is ideal, yet useless when wearing my designer face shield. I could certainly use that face recognition feature to identify my friends out in public. I’ve clearly underestimated a smile all these years. Who can tell one brown eyes brunette from another with half their face hidden?

Let’s face it, we’re moving towards a future where complementing one’s designer handbag or shoes is replaced with “Dahling, where did you ever find that fabulous Fauci?”

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